What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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Black Poeple

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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