Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops