Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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