Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops