How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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