Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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