Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops