roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops