What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops