There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops