A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

angelo snyder is not ga

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I love alchohol!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops