How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops