A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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