what's black and can't swim?

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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