*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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black people swimming

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops