What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Your girlfriend.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops