What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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