knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops