A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Your face is hilarious.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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SUCK MY NUTS

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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