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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops