Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What's the difference between a duck?

Swag.

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

Andoni was here

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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