Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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UN

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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