A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

Roses are flowers.

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

Your Mom The End.

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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