What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops