what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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