(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I C U P White stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops