Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

what color is blue? green

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

69

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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