james schmitt whats your last name

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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The government makes a good decision

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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