What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops