What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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woman's rights

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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