How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

Knock Knock Come in

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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