A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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