roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops