What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why? Why not?

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops