why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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