What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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