What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

antonio has a penis head.lol

How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

Jesus Christ

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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