Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Obama lin Baden.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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