Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

wenis

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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