- Anti Joke

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed