Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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american idol

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops