Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hey guys im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -11

you dint have to be a jew matt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops