whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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12 in general

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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9/11

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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