Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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