My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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