How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops