What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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9

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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deez nuts

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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