Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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