What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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