How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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