-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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