There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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