Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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The american education system.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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